‘Forgiven’ is not a feeling

If you are a fellow Christian, you know that when we repent and come to accept Jesus as saviour, we receive forgiveness for our sins. He removes our transgressions from us, through the blood of Jesus; as far as the East is from the West, so far has He separated us from our sins, as though we had never committed them. God’s Word says so, and He never lies. Still, in spite of this indelible fact, many Christians struggle to feel forgiven, to fully accept their new reality. Once upon a time, that used to be me, too. Getting to the point I am now, where I have accepted that I am fully cleansed and exonerated, was a process God walked me through, and so I would love to share some of my thoughts and experience with you.

For I will be merciful toward their iniquities, and I will remember their sins no more.

Hebrews 8:12

I’ll start off first by telling you this; that feeling has nothing to do with God and whether or not He has forgiven us because, as far as He is concerned, it was settled as soon as we said “yes” to Jesus. To Him, it is final, He remembers our sins no more (yes, NO MORE). Now that we’ve established our forgiveness through Jesus is very real and final, let’s tackle why, despite being made pure and holy by God, many Christians don’t feel as though they are. From my personal experience, I think this feeling stems from failing to forgive ourselves. I found this to be the most difficult part of embracing and imbibing the forgiveness we have through Christ. I struggled with the memories of my sins, the shame and the guilt triggered by those memories, and just generally feeling dirty, tainted and unworthy of God’s love. Not to mention the REGRET. That was a heavy one. Just wishing over and over that I could turn back the hands of time, knowing what I now know about God and how I should have been living, and stop my old self from committing foolish acts.

This is a faithful saying, and worthy of all acceptation, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners; of whom I am chief.

1 Timothy 1:15

Of course, I couldn’t go back to change my mistakes, but over time, through reading the Word, fellowship with the Holy Spirit, and being in the right communities, I came to accept that, regardless of what I had done, I could move forward with God. Over time, I learned to forgive the old me and remind myself that I am a new creation in Christ and, “old things have passed away” (2 Corinthians 5:17). It was a long process that was only possible by allowing my mind and heart to be washed by God’s Word. But the point is, it IS possible, possible to look at yourself and love who is looking back at you; God’s redeemed, prized possession. That is exactly who everyone who accepts Christ is.

Quick musing:

The story of Apostle Paul in the Bible was really encouraging to me in my journey of self-forgiveness. I used to think to myself, “if God could forgive someone like Paul who was a mass murderer of God’s people, He certainly can forgive me”. Of course, that’s not to say Paul’s sin was worse than mine, because sin is sin, but it did help me put things into perspective. It showed me that God doesn’t care about anyone’s pasts, Christ even died for our sins before we knew we needed a saviour! The only requirement is to come as we are and believe.

So, dear bro, dear sis, whoever is reading this, I urge you to go on that journey of forgiving yourself, the old you. The first step is to recognise you actually do struggle with your past and feelings of shame and guilt. Then, constantly remind yourself of who God says you are in Christ through meditating on His Word, and surround yourself with a community that reflects the love of Christ. While you journey through this, also try to remember that how you may see yourself now, unforgiven and unworthy, is not how God sees you.

xoxo